Distraction
by intensedreams
Summary: Post 2x12, Clarke is struggling to deal with the aftermath of the missile.


My first Clexa fic... possibly my only idk. I don't know them very well. And i don't know how i feel about this but i don't know how to improve it. Comments are so welcome, please let me know what you think :)

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Clarke felt like she was sinking. Her ears were still ringing, her eyes burning from the red hot _white_ of the missile impact. Burning from the tears she was ferociously trying to keep from spilling down her cheeks. Burning from Lexa and her failure to heed the Commanders words. "Love is weakness," the brunette had intoned to her once, sharing her tragic story, sharing herself.

Right now? Clarke agreed with that philosophy. Love was tearing her apart. Love for her mother, who had looked at her with such complete horror and disappointment. A look that the blonde had never received from her normally supportive and proud mother. It had shaken Clarke to the core. A tentative kind of love for the brutal, but fierce people of the grounders who had been sacrificed. Innate human love for needless death. A painful kind of love for her friend, her trusted Bellamy. Who she was so fucking scared for, alone in the mountain working to save them all.

So she was sinking in all this love, it was ripping her apart, and the screams and the awful _ringing_ wouldn't leave her.

She was torn from her thoughts by the sound of breaking wood. Heart suddenly in her mouth she looked up from her crouched position, back against a tree. Relief. It was Lexa, hand on her sword, foot firmly on a twig and an unreadable look on her face.

Clarke swiped at her eyes, and stood. She didn't want to seem weak in front of the other woman, and had to choke back a bitter laugh at the very thought. Lexa was so… Lexa. The Commander. Intimidating, stoic, beautiful, sad. The blonde had been a little bit in love since she had first verbally sparred with her in her tent, the arrogance and confidence oozing from the darker woman intoxicating. And here she was, witnessing Clarke at her lowest.

"What are you doing? It's dangerous for you to be out here alone in the dark" The other woman had her face paint on again, black, dark, regal. Steady eyes fixed on Clarke and assessing, as she always was. There was no sign of distress. Clarke felt so inferior next to this unshakable woman.

Clarke opened her mouth to talk. To explain. To shout. To rail against Lexa as if this was somehow all her fault. All this death. All she managed was a choked sob before Lexa was suddenly _there_, right in her space. Those unreadable eyes too close as the other woman always seemed to be.

"You were right," Clarke managed through a tight throat, her heart pounding as it always did when the brunette was near.

A dark eyebrow raised questioningly.

"You told me to harden my heart, and I failed." Lexa's brow furrowed, a finger coming up to touch a tear that had traitorously escaped. She rubbed the moisture between thumb and forefinger contemplatively. Clarke watched with her breath caught in her chest.

"What do you _need_ Clarke?" Those eyes burning right into her again.

The blonde stalled. What did she need? Vengeance? The success of this mission? To erase the look her mother gave her? She needed Bellamy to do his job so they could do theirs.

"Distraction." Clarke smiled wanly. She wanted to blank out this kaleidoscope of shitty emotions right now. Stay the course. Be unbreakable. Lead people through this.

The Commander's eyes sparkled, a moment of mirth passing through them before they were dark once more. She pressed forward, trapping Clarke against the tree with her arms either side. Her lips grazed the blonde's ear, causing goosebumps to breakout on Clarkes skin and – oh. _Fuck_. Those lips nipped at Clarke's ear, making her gasp, before they slowly made their way along her jaw line.

"Would this," kiss, "distract," kiss, "you?" another kiss, now at the corner of Clarkes lips.

The blonde had shut her eyes as she had struggled with sheer force of _want_ that passed through her. She warred within herself, the feeling of wanting to let go, and guilt at _everything_ gnawing at her. Lexa was offering her something that she had been wanting unconsciously since she first met the woman.

"I thought you said love was weakness, Lexa?" The commander, breath hot against her cheek let out a little huff of laughter.

"Clarke, who said anything about love?" She moved to the other side of Clarke's head, trapping her earlobe gently between dangerous teeth, before kissing her way back to the blonde's lips again. Clarke resisted the urge to rub her thighs together, trying to hold on to some dignity, clenched her fists to stop from making demands on Lexa's mouth as her body reacted with almost shameful intensity. "This would simply be," The commander pulled back for a moment, eyes darting about as she contemplated a word before she settled into a predatory smirk, "fucking."

Clarke swallowed, the burning low and deep in her belly intensifying from that word and that look on the Commanders face, hungry.

"Do you want me to fuck you, Clarke?"

Before she could help herself the blonde found herself nodding, biting her lip, aching for the other woman to just fucking touch her. She almost cried with relief their mouths finally met. Lexa grabbed both her wrists and pinned her against the tree, the hardness of her body and armour pressing fully against her. Clarke lost herself in the feeling of tongue, teeth, lips – nipping and soothing, and claiming demandingly. She couldn't help the moan that forced its way from her throat. Couldn't help the whimper that snuck out as teeth grazed her throat and her wrists were transferred to one hand above her head. Couldn't help the arching of her body into the Commander as her other hand roughly dragged down her side to the front of her pants. Strong fingers hooked into the waistband, pulling before letting them snap back.

The blonde groaned, pushing her hips forward involuntarily. "Please," she whispered, desperation hissing through her teeth. "Please please Lexa –"

"Is this working, Clarke?" Lexa's breath was hot on her neck, her fingers dancing along the sliver of flesh peeking from between her top and her pants and _fuck_ she just needed – she just wanted – _oh fuck –_Lexa popped the button and slipped her hand under the material. Yes it was working. All she felt was the points where Lexa touched her, hands, lips, fingers now delving into her embarrassingly wet heat. The Commander growled, she actually _growled_and pushed more firmly against the blonde whose head falls back, hitting the tree. She was past caring. Lexa slid her fingers against her clit, capturing her guttural moan with her mouth as – _yes_– the noises in her head were dimmed, being replaced by the rush of her blood and the harsh breathing of the brunette. This was effecting her too.

She worked her throat and tried to remember how to form sentences, all concentration centred on that hand between her legs. "Yessss," she whispered, all sibilant hiss as two fingers are angled and slowly pushed in. Her hips bucked – Lexa released her hands to grab behind her knee and hiked her thigh up around her hip, pushing into Clarke more firmly with her body weight behind each thrust. The blonde scrabbled for something to ground her as waves of pleasure rocked through her, settling for threading her hands in those dark locks. She pulled Lexa's mouth back to her neck, eyes rolling back into her head as that wet hot mouth trailed along her skin. Already – embarrassingly quickly – she could feel the tight coiling of orgasm deep in her belly. Clarke held on for dear life, her hands grabbing at Lexa, trying to ground herself as the Commander fucked her against a tree in the dark.

_Fuck fuck fuck._

Her increasingly loud moans were muted by Lexa's palm clamping over her mouth as teeth sank into the join between neck and shoulder. She squeezed her eyes shut as she came, the darker woman drawing it out with her thumb against her clit.

All she could hear was Lexa's panted breaths and her own ragged breathing as she came back to earth. All was quiet. The other woman stayed situated against her, but removed her hand and drew a finger into her mouth with evident satisfaction. Those black coals glittered at Clarke again momentarily, before the other woman drew back. The blonde drew a shaky breath, she fixed her clothes and ran a hand through her hair, put herself back together.

"We need to go back, Clarke. We have people to lead, people to rescue. This has just been a setback. Do not feel guilt for those who have lost their lives. That is not on us. That is on those in the mountain." The darker woman looked back in the direction of the village briefly. "I needed a distraction too, but there is much to be done." Clarke could see the tight clenching of the other woman's jaw.

The blonde reached out, on impulse, and grabbed Lexa's hand. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me, you can return the favour later Clarke."

Clarke couldn't help but let out a slight snort of amusement, nodding. She followed Lexa back towards the village, feeling more able to deal with the horror, with the fear and the pain. She felt bolstered, as though the simple understanding of the other woman somehow filled in her cracks. For how long though? She didn't know. She felt some of the weight settle back on her shoulders.

She needed Bellamy to hurry up.


End file.
